To all the dating critics (or experts as some of you would like to probably refer to yourselves)……..I have a few things to say to you!
Read it all here
(and while you’re there, be sure you follow the Fancy Pants Revolution blog so that you don’t miss any future posts once this beaut of a blog is taken down finally) 🙂
I have decided to move over to primarily using my Fancy Pants Revolution site for all my blogging. I’m even getting fancy with trying to organize categories and such! Big stuff for this little blogger 🙂
ANYWAY! I have moved the Dungeons and Douchebags series over there and would love it if you would join me and start following me there! Come on over! It will be fun!
Dungeons and Douchebags…..What’s in a name? Picking the right online dating name!
It was brought to my attention that the blog I posted this morning was not complete and the link was bringing up a contact form! Here is the updated post!!!! It’s good stuff so let’s try it again
Someday I will actually merge my blogs 🙂 but for now, check out the latest on Fancy Pants Revolution 🙂
How I feel about letting the sun set on my anger……
Who believes in the saying or even scripture that says “do not let the sun set on your anger”….or “don’t go to bed angry”? I know that I used to say “you better let me go to bed angry, cause chances are in the morning I will forget I am even mad”. This seemed like a good approach to me considering my memory of anything these days lasts a total of maybe two minutes. The trouble with that same memory that I seem to NOT have is that at random times, random memories pop up and a week later I would remember I was mad when I should’ve been long past it. This leads to over thinking and a host of other things that we won’t address in this note.
I have struggled with the concept of not going to bed angry for several years now…………..
click here to read the rest……
Previously, we covered the picture portion of online dating profiles. Today, let’s cover the “about me” section. Keep in mind, my observations are solely based on profiles that I have come across, all being male. I have not searched any female profiles, however, I have seen what guy friends have shared…..and honestly, I am just too overwhelmed to cover both sexes right now. How anybody has those sweet love stories that lead to marriage from online dating, I will never know. And I know people who have had great success. Maybe I should be talking to them more versus semi-making fun and writing about the horrid ones I come across :p
Anyway, let’s get started.
- Let me be clear in saying this section is just as important as the picture section. It’s even a more sensitive area I think.
- While it’s important not to write a book, cause let’s face it, nobody wants to read too much, it is important to cover good ground in this section to get off to a great start. Let’s pause for a second and think about “too much” though. Maybe that’s our problem. We are a society of visual, instant gratification. We want what we want right now. We want a picture because let’s face it, we must be physically attracted as well as anything else but we also want to read that you’re the perfect man in about three sentences, meet and live happily ever after. And that mentality (whether we admit it out loud or not) is often more of the problem than anything. ANYWHO……back to length. Short and sweet is fine, as long as the “short” is impactful and catches my attention enough to make me want to know more. Also note that too short is just as dangerous as too long. Do not say “I’m just seeing what this is about, will write more later” or “I don’t like to talk about me so just message me”….um no. If you can’t take the effort to fill out 150 words it usually requires to have a profile, then I find it hard to believe you’ll put that much effort into dating me. I mean, if 150 words is too much, then is there a limit on the words in our date? Because, I will be completely honest with you, I don’t think I have EVER spoke in less than 150 words in my entire life. I crawled out of the womb talking.
- There is a basic area on a webpage called “the fold”. It is basically the point of the page where you have to scroll down. It is known in the digital marketing world that once you go “below the fold” you start to lose your audience. So…..your “about me” should be as much above the fold as possible. This is where your audience is willing to stay. Plus, most women live with the belief that men don’t really have that much to say so once you start going on too long in writing, we start to think you’re full of it 🙂 just being honest….or maybe I’m the only one who thinks that.
- It’s good to cover the basics. But it’s better to make us laugh. If you don’t have anything funny to say, google a good joke.
- Before you take the liberty to brag about yourself (and you should brag about yourself, this is the best place to do it) seek outside opinions from your friends. Ask them what they think of you. Yes, it’s ok to pick the best parts of what they say and publish those……we will find out the other soon enough if it goes anywhere after the first date 🙂
- Be honest. This point should need no further explanation. But, since we’re here……by honest I mean we can see right through when you say “I live a healthy lifestyle and workout and would like someone who takes care of themselves as well”. That’s code for no fat chicks. We get it and guess what, my feelings are in no way hurt. You just saved me further reading because I can now quickly exit your profile. And I don’t fault you for liking what you like. Just don’t fault me when I’m thinking what a shallow jerk face you are on my way out of your profile. If i lost 100 pounds tomorrow you know what I would be? Hungry. I long to live an improved healthy lifestyle….so how about you look a little past my fat, find my humor and eyes attractive and then influence me to workout with you….I will step down off the soap box now.
- DO NOT say things like “I don’t want any drama” “no drug users” etc. First of all, no girl on the planet thinks she is full of drama. We just refuse to believe that about ourselves. Secondly, anyone who has any of the “do nots” you state is surely not going to message you admitting to them. I doubt there is a woman who would message a guy and say “hi, i know you said no drug users, but I really have cut down on the amount of crack i smoke weekly……think we could still meet”……PLUS, all we think when we read that is that you have met some pretty messed up chicks and maybe, just maybe, you’re the one who brings some of that “drama” on 🙂
- GRAMMAR GRAMMAR GRAMMAR….I cannot even begin to express how important this and spell checking is. Proof your work people. Look, your pictures are probably the first thing we see, and if those are on the fence, we are seriously grasping on to the “about me” section for hope that you stay in the running. If you screw that up with silly mistakes like using the wrong form of your/you’re and not spelling correctly, it’s probably over before it even gets started.
Noting these 8 simple things is a great start to a great profile. Coupled with great pics, you are well on your way to catching all the ladies attention in the online dating world. GOOD LUCK!
P.S. in an effort to be transparent and such, I have posted pictures of my online dating profile “about me” section. Although it’s probably too long, my hope is that my humor keeps their attention long enough to spark some interest 🙂
That seems to be the choices for women when they enter the online dating world these days. You either meet someone who you feel like has a dungeon awaiting your arrival so he can live out his crazy fantasies on you or he is a complete douchebag. If there were a board game with that title, I feel like it would probably take longer than monopoly.
In my recent “re-entering” into this world, I have made a few new observations worth noting out loud. Thankfully, I don’t take the whole online dating world too seriously and have thick enough skin that when I do run into one of the above I am able to find the humor in it and not spend hours in bed with the curtains pulled wondering if I am going to be alone forever.
So….here we go…..today’s topic…….Profile Pictures
- Selfies: they aren’t just for women to abuse anymore apparently. I am not kidding when I say that 9 out of every 10 (and trust me, I would even venture out to say 10 out of 10 but who ever uses that statistic really) guys have not just one, but two or more selfies on their profile. My conclusion is that most of them are probably just to scared to ask a friend to help them out and take a few shots. But….if there is any man out there reading this who is either already online dating or considering it…..PLEASE, ask for help. There are many women out there (myself included) who are willing to help.
- In addition to the selfie situation (which I understand happens from time to time – I am a fan of my own selfies – just check out my instagram page)……they are doing it in bathrooms. I can’t take it. Once I pull up a profile and see a urinal in the background or a towel rack, I literally can’t get past it. And my bet is that a lot of other women can’t either.
- Each profile MUST include at least two pictures of you. It just must. And if you’re going to use the excuse of “I don’t have a pic on my profile because of my profession”, you dang sure better have one (a current one) on hand to email me the minute you reach out to me. The chances of myself (or any other woman) having remote interest quickly and drastically diminishes when there is no pic. It’s almost as if we start off thinking you’re not real.
- It’s fantastic that you put multiple pictures up. We want to see who you are and get as much of a glimpse into your life and personality as possible. However, when there are more pictures of your motorcycle, your truck, your dog, or your favorite sports team than there are of your smile, your enjoying your fav hobby, etc……..there is a problem.
- Stop transforming yourself into silly settings. I am amazed at the morphing some have done putting their faces into moonlight, christmas ornaments, etc. You can do this fancy footwork with your photos but you can’t spell or use correct grammar to save your life? No sir. Stop. (more on the construction of your “about me” section later)
- Pics with other girls. Women have to make a decision here. I would rather see a pic of a guy and girl versus a bathroom selfie. At least someone else took the pic and I can get an idea of what you really look like when your arm isn’t holding your phone and you’re trying to suck in. However, should you post a pic of you with a girl, you should know we are automatically going to stop there and wonder who it is…..and you should be prepared to explain. However, if you post a pic of a girl kissing you on the cheek and holding you like you just proposed to her, there probably isn’t any further discussion needed. (seriously, this guy did that and told me he had no more recent pics so he posted that of his fiancé)
- Gym/Shirtless/Body Part pics……..I will venture out to say (in my own opinion) these need to cease all together. Period. There is zero reason for any of them. And I don’t even feel like I should have to list any further commentary on it. Just stop. If anything, like you tell women when they show too much, you are not leaving anything to my imagination for one. For two, honestly, you aren’t as cute and studly as you think you are. You’re just not. I applaud your work in the gym. I am rarely seen in one myself. But, if you work out, and you’re fit, we will see it when you are doing the gentlemanly thing and taking us to dinner. And we will admire your sculpted arms way more in person across the table over drinks than we will in your gym mirror pic.
- Lastly, make sure your pic is current. And by current I mean within the last 6 months to a year at the latest. No pictures of pictures from your 1995 excursion to Vegas. Feel free to post older photos if you have traveled the world or are walking a tight rope…..but please make sure you include equally as many current photos.
So, evaluate your profile……or evaluate a friend’s profile if you’re not single or not online and help each other out. Stay tuned for crafting a great “about me” section 🙂
P.S. The below picture, although hilarious and very showing of my crazy personality is an example of what NOT to include in your online dating profile…..unless you follow up with normal pictures as well 🙂
I couldn’t get everyone Christmas gifts that I wanted this year. But, I think the following announcement will be a better gift to some of you than my money could buy! 🙂
Announcing, the Alicia Break 2013. That’s right. From the evening of 12/28 until I return to the country on 1/6……there will be no Alicia correspondence. No Facebook, no Twitter, no email, voicemail, texting, sky ping, online dating, snap chat……..NOTHING.
Why you ask? Because I made a very spontaneous decision (as in I didn’t decide until last Friday on an hour’s notice) to join a group headed to Guatemala for a mission trip!!! And I could not be more excited!
You have to step outside of your world. You have to do something bigger than you at least once in your life. Even if that “bigger” is just down the street. For me, in this instance, it’s another country to love on some kiddos at an orphanage. But, that is actually perfect. Ever since I had to have surgery that prevented me from having kids, I have envisioned myself using that as the chance to love on as many kids as I can and impact them as much as I can. I feel like this is one small step in that direction 🙂
I cannot wait to get back and tell you all about it! I also can’t wait to get back to more blogging. This holiday break gave me just the time I needed to get a head start and my number one resolution for 2014 is to write more….whether anyone reads it or not! 🙂
Your support and encouragement is greatly appreciated!! You all behave while I’m gone 🙂 Hop on over HERE on Facebook, like it, and leave me a note of love if you’d like. Nothing would make me happier than to come home to lots of notes that I wasn’t forgotten about while I was gone 🙂