Breaking up my holiday 2013


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hmm, it’s been a while since I’ve been here!  Why I feel like I need two blogs I am not sure….but either way, here is some blog love for aliciavenue 🙂 (and some picture love as I share my FANTASTIC baby niece with the blog world)

The 2013 Holidays have come and gone and I can say that they did not disappoint.  Originally I was supposed to go to Jamaica with a boyfriend for the holiday.  The idea of escaping the loudness, overeating, stress, and crazy family was quite appealing.  I was going to be poolside with a drink in my hand, taking far too many naps and gaining a beautiful sun kissed glow.  Then, he dumped me via email, refuses to talk to me and naturally cancelled our trip.  So, since a replacement vacation couldn’t be justified once my mother knew the trip was off….I had to suck it up and come home 😉  Out of the few glorious days of hanging out with the family, the following notes were taken.

  •  I decided within literally a couple of hours to take the opportunity to go on a mission trip to Guatemala that leaves 12/28 and returns 1/6.  I have always wanted to do a trip like this and could not be more excited! However, if one more family member tries to tell me how i might die in the process, I may just decide to not come back and take up residence at the orphanage I will be working at.
  • Every single holiday movie on Hallmark (apparently the only channel my mom thinks she gets since it’s ALWAYS on there) is about some woman finding love during Christmas.  There wasn’t one movie about a girl who reunited with an old love, thought it would be forever, then got dumped via email because he “needed space”, only for him to jump into the online dating world two weeks later….and ultimately for her Christmas trip to Jamaica be called off.  Nope, no movie like that.  Once I gained control of the remote, I changed from the Hallmark channel to a marathon of Mob Wives.  After every other word being bleeped out, and three fights within the first 5 minutes, i finally felt normal again 🙂  Between Mob Wives and Girl Code, I feel like I was cleansed of the Hallmark “love will find you and it will be a great fairy tale” crap 🙂
  • My Mom talks to herself.  Often.  I never noticed this before but I get much entertainment from it.  All week as she has milled through the house doing this or that, she literally talks to herself.  Not in a crazy way.  Seeing as how everything else that has happened to my mother has ultimately ended up happening to me, I am kind of excited about this one.  She lives in her own world around here and it seems to be a pretty happy place for her 🙂  LOVE LOVE LOVE her.  It’s only a matter of time before I am marching to the beat of my own conversation drum as well.
  • Holiday commercials – good grief they got me good this year.  Real tear jerkers. The JC Penny commercial seemed to make me cry the most.  I’m not sure at what point in my life that I started being emotional over commercials, but it was probably about the same time as the boobs started sagging (which I am still not dealing well with I might add – see blog here to read further elaboration on boobs)
  • Bathroom highlights – the gathering at my grandmother’s is always interesting.  There is such a variety of personalities that I can ALWAYS count on quotable things happening.  This year was no different.  My nieces were playing in the hallway by the bathrooms.  They are 4 and 5 years old with enough spunk to take on any adult, any day.  I was given the role of “cop” to play with them and my sole job was to arrest them (but for what I am still unsure of).  Playing the role (the only role I can seem to land these days) of a serious cop on a mission, i chase them down the hallway.  They fling open the men’s bathroom door in an effort to hide (real fugitives here)……only to find my cousin, on the toilet, taking a “poo” and playing on his phone.  I am not sure who was more traumatized out of the ordeal, and I am fully prepared to fund their therapy in later years (for more than just this occasion).  The shock on everyone’s face is something we will probably laugh about until someone does something to trump it.  No unlocked door is safe when kids are present.
  • I helped assemble a toy.  This is probably my greatest holiday accomplishment to date.  I actually just used a knife to release a Hello Kitty car from her package and then also used the same knife as a screwdriver to insert the batteries (why on earth must every battery compartment be screwed in on these toys?)…….but, it might has well been assembling and because of my work, the kid got to play with her car….so……I am pretty much a hero right?  Look, we are counting it. You know why, because after getting defeated by a DS system and not one, but TWO games (My Little Pony and The Little Mermaid)….I’m clinging on to whatever I can!
  • Drum roll please…..after living a very long life……..I am proud to say that finally, for the first time, I watched National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.  I finally get all the jokes, costumes, etc.  I honestly feel like I have crossed some threshold in life although I’m not sure what it means for me (but I hope it means I am about to find the love of my life, get a huge raise and a new car) 🙂

I hope your holidays were fantastic and filled with great stories as well!!

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Filed under Funny (or what I think is funny), Random Thoughts and Daily tidbits

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